Book Tour: The Great Dick and the Dysfunctional Demon

The Great Dick and the Dysfunctional Demon

Barry Maher

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

Publisher: Crystal Lake Publishing

Date of Publication: 09/2025

ISBN: 978-1968532130

ASIN: B0FKWK2K7C

Number of pages: 464

Word Count: 125,000

Tagline: A wickedly funny, dark humor. supernatural thriller, blending horror with a thrilling murder mystery.

Book Description:

It’s 1982. Steve Witowski was once a hero. Now he’s simply a failed songwriter, running from the law. Worse, he’s just killed a man—while almost accidentally saving a woman from what seemed to be the strongest, most blood-thirsty wino in California. 

He should keep moving. But the woman, Victoria, is beyond stunning. Steve stays. And Victoria becomes just a part of a mystery he can’t unravel. Even as the face of the man he just killed slowly, gradually appears on his arm. And what starts out as a gritty crime story spirals into what author David Moody called, “A chillingly funny, hot, sweaty, magic and murder infused rollercoaster.” Complete with open crypts, dark spells, sudden death, and forces more powerful and demonic than Steve understands. Where nothing is what it seems. And Steve may be the next victim.

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Excerpt 

Back in the 60s . . .

 

On Wednesday October 13^th, 1968, a faculty panel recommended the dismissal of Professor John Harris—in absentia, as no one at Harvard had seen or heard from him in weeks. Harris later bragged about delivering his final lecture on “one shitload and a half of LSD.” According to the recording made available to the faculty panel, this was the sum total of that lecture:

 

“Good afternoon. Wow. American Literature, hunh? Let’s see. Moby Dick today. Right?”

 “Moby Dick?” asked a confused voice. “No. What happened to The Scarlet Letter?”

 “Right. Moby Dick,” Harris continued. “Great book. None of you have read it. None of you are going to read it. Nobody ever does. What you need to understand is that as far as I’m concerned—and I’m the fucking professor—Moby Dick is the same story as The Great Gatsby, which some of you may read. I call it, ‘the half-assed struggle of the individual to put their world to rights in the face of a failure that threatens to define their life.’ I think that’s from my thesis. Though maybe it’s not pretentious enough.”

Harris laughed. “Hey! How about this? Great Gatsby/Moby Dick: same story, different era, right? So, if someone someday tries to write that story for this generation, they should call it The Great Dick. That’d be perfect, wouldn’t it? The Great Dick. Alright, that’s got to be almost fifty minutes. See you next . . . whenever. Wow.”

 

 

SUNDAY, MARCH 21, 1982
Two Women and One Corpse

“Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to lie well.”
                                                                                        —Samuel Johnson

 

CHAPTER 1

  

            Okay, let me start out by admitting that I was an asshole. I know that. The ludicrous amount of fame and acclaim and money I’ve had dumped on me since that time only makes it more glaring. The fact that we lived in a different world back in 1982 is no excuse. It was the same world. It just wasn’t the world we thought it was.

            I remember it was a Sunday night. Sundays always feel different. Looking back now and Googling a 1982 calendar, I’d guess it was Sunday, March 21^st. I remember waking up and within minutes making the decision to leave. Quickly, before I could change my mind, I eased myself out of the rickety hide‑a‑bed.

            Immediately, Maria rolled over into the spot I'd just vacated, breathing loudly through her nose and mouth, not quite snoring. I hate to say it, but she looked every minute of her thirty years. Her thick dark hair clung damply to her face; her heavy arms stretched outward. The cast on her left wrist looked like a giant manacle.

The grandfather clock beside the cigar store Indian read 1:37, though a few minutes before, it had chimed four times. That made as much sense as anything else in my life. I was thirty-five years old, a Harvard grad who’d spent the previous two years faking his way through a $13,500 a year job as an territory rep for the Richmond Tobacco company. That $13,500 was the most money I’d ever made. You’re probably thinking that when you adjust for inflation and translate that $13,500 into today’s dollars, it’s a lot more impressive.

No, it’s not.

I slipped on my jersey and my jeans and gathered the rest of my things in my old gym bag. Fortunately, enough moonlight crept in around the edges of the tattered drapes to give the room a dim glow. I wondered if it would be safe to hitchhike out of there, or if Indiana had already notified the California Highway Patrol that I was wanted.

My situation was bad. But not bad enough to, say, crawl into a grave with a rotting corpse.

That would come later.

About the Author:

 

Barry Maher may be the only horror novelist who’s ever appeared in the pages of Funeral Service Insider. In his misspent youth, his articles appeared in perhaps a hundred different publications and, in order to eat, he held nearly that many different jobs. Sometimes he lived on the beach. Not in a house on the beach. On the beach. With the sand and the seagulls. 

Then he started telling his stories to audiences. More important, he started telling his stories to audiences and charging. That took him all over the country and around the world: his client list a Who’s Who of leading corporations, associations and cruise lines. You may have seen Barry on The Today Show, CNN, CBS or CNBC, or read about him in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today or in his own, Slightly Off-Kilter syndicated column.

On the downside, he’s also been incarcerated twice. Once for not making a left hand turn out of a left hand turn lane, and once for aiding and abetting a loiterer. 

He’s deeply repentant. 

Newsletter: www.barrymaher.com

 

X: https://x.com/barrymaher

Bluesky:

Pre-Order: The Bone Dagger

THE BONE DAGGER by Clara Rhodes is coming July 21st!

Make sure to preorder this all-new epic, slow burn, dark romantasy today!

 

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BLOGGERS! SIGNUPS ARE STILL OPEN!
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BLURB

In this spellbinding debut fantasy, passion and peril entwine in a tale of curses, monsters, and forbidden desire. Perfect for fans of dark romance, this sweeping first installment introduces a heroine whose heart may be as dangerous as her power.

Born with the blood of a hell god in her veins, Helaina Ironblood has lived her life in secrecy, hidden from a realm already teetering on the edge of ruin. When tragedy shatters her family and the heir to the throne is lost, Helaina is cast into exile--her cursed power now a beacon to enemies who would see the world burn. Beyond the Ash Cliff Mountains, monsters stalk the land, and darker forces hunger for the weapon Helaina carries within her.

Seized by Theodon Wrenn, the feared captain of a mysterious legion, Helaina is thrust into a war that stretches far beyond her imagining. Ruthless, commanding, and bound by secrets of his own, Theodon believes she is the key to victory. Yet the more he tries to bend her to his will, the more he is drawn to her defiance--and to the dangerous fire in her blood. Unlocking her power requires the Bone Dagger, an ancient relic that binds gods, beasts, and mortals alike, but demands a price--Helaina's mortal life.

Torn between the man who would sacrifice her and the destiny she never wanted, Helaina must decide whether her curse will bring salvation ... or ruin.

Cover Reveal: Masked Secrets

CHECK OUT THIS GORGEOUS COVER!! We are honored to share the cover for MASKED SECRETS, the prequel in the Love Over Murder series, by J.D. Carothers, coming June 25th! Make sure to preorder this all-new billionaire romance today for ONLY 99¢! PREORDER HERE! ONLY 99¢! Price will go up after release week! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H2BMLJW7  BLURB   Start with a billionaire living for fun, fighting expectations, and avoiding his future. Add an alluring, intelligent, career-focused woman. Throw in a masquerade ball and a villain. It’s a recipe for fireworks. Brooke It all starts when the power goes out, leaving me trapped in a dark elevator with a stranger. Closed spaces don’t work for me. Panic takes over. The sexy stranger comes to my rescue. His deep voice, yummy British accent, warm shoulder to lean on, and flask of expensive whiskey is just what I need. Embarrassment aside, what happened shouldn’t matter. I’ll never see him again. That’s good because I’m no longer the adventurous risk-taker I was in college. Now, I’m a rule-following professional—at least that’s what I tell myself. Stuart Her wavy, auburn hair, sparkling emerald eyes, and perfect curves mesmerize me. When she panics, my instinct is to protect her. That is until she snuggles against me and sparks fly, making me want so much more. I regret not getting her mobile number. It shouldn’t bother me. I’m not looking for a relationship. And she doesn’t seem like the type for a fling. To my surprise, she turns up unexpectedly. I’m relieved and thrilled. But she pushes me away. What’s up with that? Welcome to the Prequel for the Love Over Murder series. Each book is a standalone story featuring one couple’s journey to their guaranteed H.E.A. The series is especially for lovers of swoony moments intertwined with a light twist of suspense.

Teaser : A Reluctant Claim

✨TEASER: A RELUCTANT CLAIM by @maxinehenriromance releasing June 23rd! 

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Why you need to #ONECLICK this book…
🔥Accidental Pregnancy 

🔥Marriage of Convenience

🔥Grumpy, Possessive Billionaire

🔥He falls first

🔥Protective hero

🔥Workplace Romance

🔥Strong, independent FMC

He planned to use me.

Not to get me pregnant.

Now he wants to claim us both.

One night. That’s all it was supposed to be.

Liam Stone walked into my life—and straight into my company—with an agenda I don’t trust.

Men like him don’t make moves without a reason. And they don’t play fair.

I didn’t build my career by falling for charm.

While the entire office swoons, I fight him where it matters. In the boardroom.

But my mind and my body are at war.

Because he’s arrogant. Calculating. And dangerously hard to resist.

Then that one reckless night catches up with me.

He came to New York for revenge.

I just didn’t know I was the leverage.

Now everything is more complicated than I ever planned.

I don’t need saving. But I do need control—because it’s the only way I know how to protect what matters.

And I won’t lose myself, no matter what he offers.

Even if a part of me wants to believe him.

Even if he’s determined to claim us both.

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Pre-Order: The Book Lover’s Beach House

✨PREORDER NOW: THE BOOK LOVER'S BEACH HOUSE by @melodygracebooks releasing June 9th! 

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Why you will love this book…
🏖️Small-town

📚Grumpy X Sunshine

🏖️Forced Proximity

📚Found Family

🏖️Cozy Spice

📚Romance Author X Contractor 

From one of the writers of Netflix's hit show BRIDGERTON, and the movie JINGLE BELL HEIST comes a feel-good small-town read about the power of romance... on and off the page!

When hopeful romantic Poppy calls off her wedding at the last minute, she leaps at the chance to stay at her godmother's beach house in the quirky small town of Sweetbriar Cove. She needs a quiet summer to finish writing her new romance novel… until the construction noise starts at 5am next door.

Cooper is a local craftsman, building his dream house by the beach. He has no intention of falling for his charming new neighbor, even if it is fun making her fume…

As sparks fly between them, will Poppy's hopeful outlook on love break through Cooper's grumpy defenses? And can this queen of romance write her very own happily-ever-after?

The Book Lover's Beach House is a cozy spice romantic novel with small-town charm, grumpy-sunshine shenanigans, and a guaranteed HEA!

Note: 'The Book Lover's Beach House' was previously published as 'Meant to Be'. It has been lightly revised with new content.

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Taken: Broken Pride

✨TEASER: BROKEN PRIDE by @kindlealexander2.0 releasing June 25! 

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Why you will love this book:

🔥MM Romance 

🔥Opposites Attract 

🔥Hurt/Comfort

🔥Small Town Romance

🔥Emotional Scars 

🔥Secret Relationship

Mega movie star Slade Whitaker lives under a constant microscope. Fame, fortune, and a global fanbase come at a hefty personal price of keeping his true self tightly under wraps. One he escapes from every year to his secluded West Texas ranch, far from the relentless paparazzi and the dark side of Hollywood.

For Mason Sutton, life used to be simple. Long days spent on the rich Texas soil and the quiet, steady comfort of his beloved rodeo mare, Wildflower. But one tragic afternoon shatters everything, leaving him alone to rebuild the pieces of his life. The last thing Mason wants is a sexy temptation with a great strut wreaking havoc on his broken life.  

In the quiet countryside, far from cameras and gossip columns, the line between fantasy and reality blurs. Will they risk their futures for a chance at love, or will the fear of being exposed destroy the one thing that might finally make them whole?

A steamy MM celebrity romance featuring a movie star, a Texas cowboy, small-town heat, emotional hurt/comfort, and a secret relationship that could change everything.

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Teaser: The Forbidden Villain

✨TEASER: THE FORBIDDEN VILLAIN by @authorvfmason releasing June 11th! 

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Why you need to #ONECLICK this book…
🔥Reverse Age Gap

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🔥Billionaire Romance

🔥Morally Gray Hero

🔥Touch her and die romance

🔥Obsessed Alpha Hero

I wasn't supposed to become his obsession. 

But by the time I realize it, it's too late. 

He already considers me his. 

A vicious, manipulative and powerful villain who has one goal in mind. 

To own my mind, body and soul. 

He wants me to burn in his hell. 

And the worst part? 

No one knows about his true nature. 

He hides it well behind his charm and charisma, intending to fool everyone around him, but I see right through the facade. 

I try to escape his clutches, but it's no use. 

Because once this monster sets his sights on me?

He doesn't let go. 

Instead he starts to hunt - and I'm the prey. 

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